By Jon Horowitz

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To say Katie Holmes has been on a rollercoaster ride the last few weeks would be cliché. To say she’s soaring near the pinnacle of a love-soaked thrill-ride of excitement and uncertainty would be “Dawson”-speak.

Yes, America’s goody-two-shoes sweetheart Joey is preparing to tie the knot with America’s heartthrob Tom Cruise. And Oprah’s Book Club authors couldn’t have penned a better tale.

The highlight reel: Katie plays Joey on “Dawson’s Creek.” She kisses James Van Der Beek on the show. She kisses Joshua Jackson on the show. She does a couple horror flicks. She shows her boobs on the big screen. “Dawson” ends. She does a few indie films. She lands some silly roles. She lands Tom. Oh, and did we mention that her childhood dream was to marry Tom Cruise. How ’bout that?

Trouble is, cruising with Tom isn’t as simple as going to the rollerskating rink and grabbing some burgers at the drive-in. The incessant media coverage has made light of a lost art. The art of romance. (And Steven Spielberg made sure the media heard about that.)

What’s so out-of-the-ordinary about a movie star falling head-over-Manolo Blahnik-heels for another movie star, one of them professing his love like a crackhead to the richest woman in the world on national TV, the other converting to a nouveau religion, and then getting engaging at the Eiffel Tower?

Perhaps it’s still a big publicity stunt for their respective summer blockbusters, War of the Worlds and Batman Begins.

Or perhaps everyone’s just waiting for that pure country girl in Katie to click her heels three times and wake up from the fantasy. Heck, bookies are taking bets on when the couple will get divorced, and an Internet campaign is already trying to free Katie from Tom’s scientological clutches. Uh oh, Katie, better watch for that … science.

While destiny may whisk TomKat (better than Bennifer) to a life filled with rich, beautiful (adopted) children and richer, more beautiful (adopted) grandchildren, it may also whisk them to scores of National Enquirer and People Magazine covers, days of thunder, and an impossible mission of escaping pigeonholed movie roles.

So aside from a pre-nup, eyes-wide-open Katie isn’t partaking in any risky business. She’s crafted a resume to help her land her next theatrical role -- just in case anyone forgets her oh-so-innocent face.